Post-meno HRT details

West Coast, USA

49

Turned out I unknowingly white-knuckled peri and barely came out alive.

Post menopause lovingly added more delights. Life was generally miserable: unbearable frequent hot flashes, night sweats, 3hrs sleep, hair loss, zero motivation, pre diabetic numbers, extreme weight gain on a healthy diet, memory loss, forgetfulness, anxiety, itchy EVERYTHING...most importantly, I couldn't use my hands anymore – I had no grip and they hurt so bad from the onset of osteoarthritis. Heck, even my eyesight had to get in the mix.

When I learned Estrogen is a gatekeeper against inflammation, I realized it is vital to my health and quality of life. It allows me to use my hands with ease and keeps the debilitating pain in check, i.e., no tears.

Progesterone...the jury is still out.

Really the star of the show turned out to be testosterone. I wanted it for the normal reason and had no clue how many issues it would impact. Holy cow! It resolved 8 of the symptoms mentioned and others not mentioned. My skin felt better. My general mood improved; it felt like a cloud had been lifted. I had motivation with the ability to act. I had confidence to tackle unknown DIY projects. I could remember entire sentences and retain thoughts. I could make decisions. I'm pretty certain I had my best session at the gym today. Kinda love that.

Then there's the preventative aspect. I was generally active, athletic, and ate well. So I was shocked to find I am pre diabetic. I suspect I have familial hypercholesterolemia (FH) since my cholesterol went crazy in menopause. Never broke a bone until menopause when I broke 4 within 18 months.

EDIT: I take it all— E, T, P and E cream. I have yet to find support where I live so I go through my previous Dr who is out of network (i.e., not through insurance). I pay ~$60/mo for my 4 scripts using GoodRx discount.

Testosterone

In my 30's, my periods continued to lessen. Mine used to be a heavy flow for 5 days. Over time I saw it lessening to 3 days in my late 20's then a barely noticeable 1.5 days in my 30's.

Around 38, I noticed more hair falling out when I styled. Concerning but begrudgingly expected with age. I was at the top of my game. I also started asking medical professionals questions about my libido. I saw the faintest hint of jowls.

Progesterone

41 my Dr. mentioned in passing I was in peri. I say in passing because we never had another convo about it and I mistakenly dismissed that as something to be concerned with in 10 years. "I" was fine. Coincidentally I got a Marina IUD (progesterone) for bc. Still running and worked out regularly. I looked amazing and had no issues with weight control. Sleep started to get harder. I stayed up later and later. My moods started to decline ever so slightly, but that's just life right? My blood work numbers looked good but were trending higher. Told they were fine so didn't think twice. I started asking Dr. about my lubrication. "Everything looks fine to me". 😐 Still felt at the top of my game with a few setbacks...like the beginnings of urinary urgency.

Estrogen

By 44-47, my hair loss accelerated a LOT. I lost handfuls in the shower. My mood started to tank beyond what I could self-regulate. I entered into an awful relationship which unfortunately I attributed many of my peri symptoms to that asshat: increased stress, IBS, acid reflux, weight fluctuations, depression, anxiety, insomnia, low motivation, food cravings, painful sex. I would ask around about my symptoms but no one had any advice.

My temperature regulation started going to shit making it difficult to dress myself for events. I had to take all the stuff with me. I unknowingly got hot flashes at night; my temp control was on a razor's edge so any contact in bed made me fling off the covers. I already had poor sleep habits from ADHD, which btw my meds started to not work anymore (fluctuating hormones will do that) which turned into full blown insomnia. I would find myself crying in corners at friends' gatherings for no known reason. I started to flake on my friends because I developed social anxiety and just general angst at leaving the house. The idea of travel would put me in a tailspin...me who LOVES IT and has traveled solo to all the continents. I was having difficulties controlling my weight. Then the last (awful) 6 months of that relationship for some reason, I lost the difficult 20-30 pounds that had crept up and then kept losing down to a dangerous level. (Good riddance to the 180lbs I also lost.)

I started to feel aches in my thumbs (beginnings of osteoarthritis). My knees started creaking and occasionally one would give out momentarily on stairs. My blood work was higher, but again it was a comment more than a discussion. I again brought up libido and lubrication with a Dr...and got nothing.

In retrospect, these were all due to perimenopause maybe even menopause but because I had an IUD, I didn't know if I still had my period. At the time, I felt in the middle of a perfect storm of events out of my control.

Age 48+, things continued to decline and accelerate. My mood has tanked. Motivation was gone. I had energy but without anything in the driver's seat, it didn't help me. My ADHD ramped up to '11'. My relationships were fraying. I have full on jowls now and the beginnings of dark circles (from thinning skin). Started to get sugar cravings. I could still impact my weight a little about 6 months post menopause until I couldn't when my body decided to recompose itself. I started to notice my labia looked shrunken. Didn't pay much attention since I had given up on my sex life after the asshat experience and my general feelings of malaise.

Menopause

I moved 2 months before the pandemic so support at this time was limited. I also moved to a regressive area and wasn't ready to continue my fight (or rather advocacy) with the medical industry. I was initially still running a bit, no gym. Got up to a 10k a day until I broke my feet. Then broke them again. A year later I developed a meno-belly, my boobs ballooned 😖 and I packed on an additional 40lbs in the next 6 months and NOTHING I tried changed that. My hot flashes decided to stop playing and fully declared themselves up to 13+ in an hour.

In desperation, my foot in a cast, I went to planned parenthood and got an initial 3 months. That's when I learned about inflammation and estrogen. I knew I had to figure out my hormones. And I wanted a higher dose because I thought it would address the pain (it does). Wasn't able to stay on it for unrelated reasons.

I switched to an anti-inflammatory diet; tried intermittent fasting; I stopped all sugar and made sure to hit my nutrition macros (there wasn't much else to clean up in my diet); I walked for miles at a time, only developing new body aches for my efforts. I bent over to look at something and threw out my back. I had stopped going to the gym because lack of motivation, anxiety for leaving the house, and inability to make decisions about what to do when there. I got a personal trainer to structure my heavy lifting.

Eventually I was able to ignore my medical trauma and got up the gumption to try for medical support again. The local hack (Dr) I picked was an ass and got angry with me when I requested a test for T. Then he offered every other option instead of E and when I finally cornered him for E he gave me less than before, so basically useless, a waste of money, and no script for P. So I went back to a former Dr. and easily got E & P. I made a case for T and got that too.

I stayed with friends while sorting out the medical stuff so I did not watch my diet. I ate desserts and drank alcohol. And I STILL lost 10lbs. in the first month. My overall attitude improved with T; I felt as if a cloud had been lifted. Day 3 of T my hair stopped falling out! My blood sugar became more even and I have hopes my cholesterol will drop. I can now cuddle my cats all day without having to fling them off me because they used to trigger hot flashes in <30 seconds.

EDIT: I'm on .75 E patch, P oral, test c injections, and E cream. Oh, I too prefer natural paths and rarely take meds or ibuprofen, aspirin, cold medicine, etc. Prefer therapy over a pill (muscle relaxers). I have a high pain tolerance. I hated the idea of testosterone pellets (too much of a commitment, no control). T cream seemed like a crapshoot with the amount you absorb through the skin, the potential for DHT conversion and increased hair loss.